The last post

So... I am now an Elder... I am so close to entering the MTC that i cant even really believe it... I want you to know that i KNOW that Jesus the CHrist is my Savior. Without him I can't be where i am. There are so many friends that i need to thank, especially friends who i thought i had lost. I wrote before that i never knew if i could make someone happy, but little did i know the future and that i would be making them happy, and that they could send me on this mission and make me and HUNDREDS of people happy as well! Thank you and the stars are always beautiful...

My thoughts as of yet.

So, I have been having the weirdest month... I have been going to the temple as much as possible, and been blessed with some amazing people. Mostly a certain friend, that has helped me through so much troubles... The problem is she deserves better than me... I don't know how I can be good enough to help her nearly as much as she has helped me. Its kind of weird how much she makes me smile sometimes... And its even weirder how much I try and try to make her smile, but I cant... I seem to always be so close to making her smile at least a bit. And i never get to make her smile last... Even for a tiny bit...
On to other news California Love the musical I was in was amazing! I had some amazing friends come watch which made the play that much better! I got distracted once or twice but it was never a problem... It kind of worked! Made it a little more fun is all...

Sleeping all day, and staying up all night!

Alright so just an update for all of my friends and family! California Love the musical is doing great right now! All of us cast and crew are working super hard and are almost completely off book! Its actually pretty cool, but we are actually doing the "First Cast Recording" not next weekend but the one after! So if the musical actually goes anywhere everyone will be using US as what the music sounds like.

Anyway, life has bee pretty good for me! I have 4 classes which im kicking the butt of, and some awesome professors!

The Road goes ever on and on...

Down from the doorstep where it begun. Man i love JRR Tolkien. But it totally shows how i am trying to live life... I am never sure if my choices are correct. the only reason i can go through with each one is i know that it is what i should do in the long run. The road will go on. This is just the doorstep. I just hope that my actions dont negatively affect those around me... I never want that, and i know this is best for now. Maybe just best for me... The fact of the matter is I am just happy to know that in the end, it will work out for the best.
I know this is just me ranting, but it is for that reason that i created the blog anyway... I know that this cant make sense to any of you out there in the interwubs... I wish i could just say how much people mean to me and my choices aren't because i dont care... i DO care. SO much. i just cant care anymore... It will hurt both of us so much...

Well...

I havent written here in forever, because the past 10 months have been odd... I am jobless, living with my parents... Yet i haven't been this happy in my life. I have had so many times where i have had happy moments... But never so many happy days, where i sleep with a smile on my face... I know most of the readers will know this, but i was raised in the church. Did what i was supposed to, because i had to. I knew the church was true because it was rational. it made sense. Not very scientific i know. i should have come up with a hypothesis, tested, came up with data and made a theory. After that prove my theory, and come up to my conclusion on my own... I saw the problem that i had and decided to actually test this out... I know without a doubt the power of God. He has given me family who loves me, who pushes me, and urges me to be better. He gave me friends who love me, and make me want to be better, who show me a better way, and show their love for me. I know i have made mistakes but because Christ died for me so i can be redeemed.

This past weekend was General conference. I have listened my whole life... This was the first year where i knew i felt the spirit the whole time... i want to get a journal for the first time in my life so i can write all my thoughts and feelings down about it! Thursday i am returning to the temple... First time in two years. i am impressed that i am able to do this... I know i will keep my recommend from here on out though. I have never been so sure in my life.

I have been living in Apple Valley for almost 8 months now. A while ago i met some friends that have truly changed my life. I was not the best guy around, but because of these great people i have seen what is means to know. without a doubt. i know because they urged me, with help from the spirit of course, to see what i could do by looking for myself. They knew without a doubt. i wanted to see if i could. I will always be struggling to be like them, but i know i will always be trying to be better. I wish i could profess how much i love all of them, and how happy they have made me. Everyday i wake up with a smile because of them.

The war is on...

O queso... i wanted to say something for a while now but no one really much cares or i just havent found the right time to bring it up. While watching Hulu i saw a preview for the new Call of Duty Black Ops. It has a bunch of people fighting and shooting each other; from Kobe, well i think kobe, to an In'n'Out guy shooting people up with a tag of "there is a Soldier in all of us." I just want to say this is the WORST campaign i've ever seen... at least the worst timed one. If you dont know some idiots were trying to start a censorship of video games, and say who can and cant buy video games that were deemed violent. the law was so vague it was overturned. They were trying to make anything M rated or with gratuitous violence only be bought by adults which, ok good point, but making a LAW that makes parents and circumvent that is stupid. parents should be smart enough to think, huh... this game is too violent for him to be playing, i should TALK to him about it... But no they decided to go off the deep end and try and make violent video games the new cigarettes for those high schoolers out there...

I digress. With this law being split pretty evenly and three undecided, i thought it was dumb for a gaming company who was against this new law whole heartedly to put out a commercial that is showing that you do a "have someone wanting to kill others and get enjoyment out of it" inside of each of us, because isn't that the whole problem people have with video games in the first place? they think anyone who plays video games will kill them in their sleep? I just kinda put my face in palm and was so sad for those who actually did this commercial...

And i have to add one thing to this. There is actually a Jeep wrangler that people can BUY that is Call of Duty: Black Ops oriented... People are stupid... First they think of sparkling gay vampires then this. The latter days people, we live in the end of days...

Hey sorry for all the bad grammar with all the un upper cased stuff... its late and I honestly don't care what it is called... And my laptop has trouble with its shift button and pressing something at the same time.

Ready... Set... I guess?

Alright so this is being posted because it is really late at night, and hopefully it will help to sort out everything rattling in my noggin. This is in no way (I hope) going to turn into a moan fest by Tim. It is mostly for me to get my thoughts out of my head because there is alot up there and not much room for them to battle for space... My ideas i mean.

Maybe if i actually talked about my ideas more often i would be able to straighten my thoughts and actually getting from one end to another with out two ideas hitting and completing a nonsensical circuit in my brain. i think this is mostly starting because im frustrated because i just realized how i've been eating so many dang sandwiches without remembering... i think someone is eating my awesome bread! I bought this bread with a full intent to eat it. Not to have my bread be the metaphorical virus that passes to one person to the next.

Oh i also wanna explain the really random name for my blog. Its actually kinda weird if you think about it but it makes sense for me, because its actually a mix of my 4 favorite bands names. And since i'll most likely be posting while listening to music since thats really the only time my brain actually WORKS i decided to set it up that way. BREAKING Benjamin, INcubus, Rise AGAINST and the Red HOT Chili Peppers. Also hopefully i will not be just rantiong and raving and being a preteen girl, I will hopefully be able to start talking about new music, movies, video games, and the like.

So... that is actually all that is on my mind that is willing to spill out of my finger tips at the moment, and hopefully this becomes a good area for to think and if you all read maybe get your feedback.